Tuesday, April 27, 2010

You know you're a dog lover...

If you consider your hands to be clean after they’ve been licked and wiped on fur

If all of your coat pockets smell like Snausages

If you've given up on lint rollers and just buy clothes to match your dog

If you’ve ever discussed anal glands with a stranger

If all of your shoes are stored above eye-level

If you've ever reached into your pocket for cash and come out with poop bags

If more than half of your living room is taken up by a crate and pen

If you’ve ever stolen the plastic bag off your neighbor’s newspaper because you were caught unprepared

If your kitchen floor is squeaky clean but a little sticky

If it's a pretty good day when the worst thing that gets on you is pee pee

If you’ve ever had to pull something out of your dog’s business end

If you’ve met more of your neighbors since getting a dog than you had met in the previous ten years

If you’ve ever spotted a missing (and frighteningly large) household item in your dog’s poop

If you know that your dog doesn't like to be hugged, but you still can't stop yourself

If you secretly suspect dog has trained you to fetch

If your dog has a more elaborate car safety system than you had as a child

If you’ve ever smiled at an attractive stranger while holding a bag of #2

If you think you might actually be qualified to be a veterinarian at this point

If you’ve ever walked around the block in your pajamas

If you’ve ever gotten rained on because SOMEONE can't go potty without the umbrella over her

If you’ve ever had your fingers three knuckles deep in your dog's throat to stop him from swallowing something he shouldn't

If you don't even notice the slobber any more

If you’ve ever debated with your spouse over whether it’s safe to let your dog eat mulch

If you’ve made more trips to the emergency vet than the emergency room

If you own more Kongs than dinner plates

If the idea of getting pet health insurance has stopped seeming absurd

If you can clean your dog’s ears, brush her teeth and apply frontline in less time than it takes to toast a bagel...

You know you're a dog lover.

Copyright 2010 Hilary Bolea

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Words Get in the Way

"Language is the source of misunderstandings." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery (1900 - 1944)

I just saw this quote for the first time and I love it! It captures so much about the relationships between humans and their dogs, and our efforts to communicate.

Dogs don't use language, and they never have misunderstandings. They communicate with their bodies: eyes, mouth, tail, breathing, muscle tension and posture. There is no filter, no spin, just to
tal honesty.

People, on the other hand, decide what we want other people to know and communicate it verbally, while often unknowingly communicating the truth with our bodies. For a vivid and sad illustration of this, watch Sandra Bullock's acceptance speech at the Golden Globes with the sound muted, and then watch her Oscar acceptance speech, given just a few weeks later, also with the volume down. There is no question that her life, and her emotional state had changed profoundly in the weeks between the two speeches, although she does not acknowledge it in her words.

More often than not, the language, concepts and symbols filling up our heads muddy up our attempts to communicate with our dogs. Here are a few scenarios I see a lot:
  • An owner saying, "Good boy! Good boy!" while petting and rubbing around the dog's head, ears and face. The dog is trying to dodge the petting, clearly irritated, but because the owner is saying "Good boy!" the owner fails to notice.
  • People getting frustrated and repeating a command, like, "Sit! Sit! Sit!" when it's not working, because the dog "knows what it means," and the dog "should" sit. This scenario is at the heart of a cardinal rule of behavioral conditioning: "If it's not working, do something different." (I once read about a psychology experiment where both humans and lab rats were taught to navigate a maze to a certain spot and find a reward. Halfway through the trials, the location of the reward changed, unbeknownst to the subjects. The lab rats were able to adapt and find the reward in the new location; the humans were not. "It should be where it was before!" "He should sit !")
  • Owners saying, "She knows it's wrong!" -- as thought we share a common moral code -- when their dog exhibits appeasement behaviors like a lowered head, and a tail between the legs. Another one along these lines is, "Why should I give her a treat for doing what she ought to do?"
  • Owners relating to their adult animals as though they are human children or babies. We are all susceptible to this to some extent, because our brains like to file things into the cubby holes of our concepts, and our concept for small, warm, cute thing is "child". Baby talk and cooing work well for kids, but not so well for animals. Here's an example that really rankles for some reason. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXjPQYgT25Q (For the record, I do think the hedgehog is very cute, but the way the people talk to him drives me crazy!)
If you want to have fewer "misunderstandings" with your dog, try interacting in total silence. You'll be surprised at how good your instincts are when you get the words out of the way.