Knowing what your dog likes and what you like

Dog trainers are in the business of positive reinforcement, but it's very easy to confuse what's enjoyable for you with what is enjoyable for your dog. The most common examples I see among my clients are hugs. I've seen countless owners cozy up with their dogs by grabbing them around the shoulders and giving playful rubs on their cheeks and ears. The dog looks miserable and wriggles away; the owner gives a hearty laugh and pats the retreating dog on the rump. The whole thing reminds me of a grandpa pinching his grandson's cheeks too hard, never realizing that the experience is not actually enjoyable to the child.

It's not that you should never do the things you like that your dog doesn't, but you want to be aware of whom you are gratifying at any given time. And if you're trying to provide positive reinforcement for good behavior, make sure the reinforcer is something your dog actually likes. (Another classic example: the dog owner gives the dog a treat and a pat on the head. The dog takes the treat, but dodges the pat on the head, looking annoyed. What the owner has accomplished is reward AND punishment - not the best way to get the behavior you want!)

So I am starting a list of things that I like, and another list of things that Bagel likes.

Things that are enjoyable for ME:

• Hugging Bagel
• Cuddling with Bagel
• Kissing Bagel's face and ears
• Petting his soft head
• Smelling his ears

Things that are enjoyable for BAGEL:

• Playing tug
• Being chased for his toy
• Running
• Being stalked
• Belly rubs